Stupidity Should Be Painful

People are stupid. And I have come to the conclusion that stupidity in all it’s various forms should be painful. I don’t just mean for the rest of us, but if it where to cause intense physical discomfort in short, uninterrupted burst, then perhaps one could entice a Pavlov’s dog type of response to stupidity. I drew this conclusion after reading an article in the local newspaper regarding a man, who thinks he is a vampire….please insert a long awkward pause here and subsequently stalked his internet girlfriend after she tired to break up with him. In a desperate (and extremely imaginative way I might add) attempt to get him to break it off she told him that she was a member of a super secret society and their love was forbidden, specifically she was a vampire slayer.
After reading this article I began to seriously reflect on people and their perceptions of themselves. How does one go about formulating the idea that they are a vampire? It’s very difficult. I tried. For most of the car ride down to Virginia Beach I tried with all my might to believe that I was a vampire. I failed by the way, (I know Kate is panicking and probably already had Allison on the phone, relax it was for research purposes only). I was surprised because I have quite the imagination and can snowball with an idea like you wouldn’t believe. But it was beyond me to believe even for the 2 and half hours I was in the car that I was anything other than the incredibly outstanding person that I am, namely human and mortal. So how this man has not only formulated and lived the belief for the past several years that he is a supernatural being but ran as the Vampires, Witches and Pagan’s party candidate for the Minnesota governor in 2006 is beyond me, and can only be attributed to one of two things. Either he has an unfortunate mental condition that perpetuates this belief or his is stupid. I’m leaning towards the latter.
Now for all his obvious short comings this man presents a very unique opportunity, a test subject if you will. If someone could devise a device that could be worn, permanently, that would administer some type of shock every time this man was about to act out in his vampire type fashion, namely do something stupid, it is my belief that eventually he would stop. We are human and we can be conditioned, why it only takes three days, a hose and a little determination and you can brainwash a person (will blog on that later). Even if it was something as rudimentary as having someone follow him around and strike him with a 2x4 every time he tried to suck some one’s blood or climb into a coffin, if his stupidity caused pain to his person, he would stop being stupid. By god, I know I would, and the patent is pending.