Sunday, September 5, 2010

Ta Da !!!

poof. She's back.

Sorta of.

I've been busy busy busy, and have lots to report. I'm still in school but since I'm down to my last 9 credits I'm not going full time anymore! Transferred out of pathology in Jan and I've started working in my field of interest...Psychology. I'm a mental health tech at an acute care facility here in my home town. Which has increased the amount of ridiculous happenings in my life 10 fold. Example- to date the most extreme thing that has happened at the job so far is I got punched in the face by a psychotic patient. Blog on that later. Hmmm what else...I have some new pics of cakes to put up (since I've actually had time to do some), along with some pics of my wonderful dog Henry (aka Henry Danger Epoch my last name here) an absolutely wonderful 3 year old Havanesse that has brought nothing but joy to my life since I got him.

O. And I've been dating, even found one that sticks. After all that horse cockery I am pleased to report that I found a wonderful man who has not shown any signs of crazy. We've been going strong since January.

Give me a bit to get back into the swing of things but here's a list of some upcoming blogs:
My Will of Evil will not be denied- a synopses of the ridiculous nature of my job.
Super Henry Saves the Day!- a little narrative/rant about nature and how my dog saved us from being eating by it.
Eat Cake! -my little home business is tentatively back up and running...well at least I'm taking orders on cakes.
The Billy Goat and the streets of Chi Town- the marvelous vacation i had with my 2 bff in Chicago.
X equals Y- the most ridiculous math teacher in the whole world.

Have a happy Sunday!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Random Txt of the week

"All I'm saying is if I hadnt heard the voice of Oprah Winfrey in my head telling me not to shit in the shower this conversation would have gone in a totally different direction"

I would like to note that all of these texts of the week are actual texts that I have sent to my friends, or are random comments made during an actual conversation, via text. I would also like to note that Text From Last Night fails to repeatedly post my submissions. Ergo, they find there way here. Take that TFLN...take that.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Who's Coming for Dinner?

Every now and then I’ll take a bit out of my saving and shop at Wegmans. I absolutely adore grocery shopping. I’ve always liked it. Particularly the produce section; I like to see all of the apples and oranges, grapes, tomatoes, heads of lettuce ext lying out under the lights. They are fresh and green, and sometimes if I time it right, I can watch the sprinklers mist the fruit. Yeah…I know I know. Anyways, I was shopping with a purpose tonight. Tonight I was having a dinner party. I invited a work friend and her husband over for dinner, a glass of wine and hopefully a good time. They canceled. No babysitter. So I decided to have the dinner party anyways. I had picked the perfect recipe-spegattie with a cream tomato sauce. I also splurged and bought a six pack of Woodchuck (which is being consumed as we speak) and a very small wedge of brie with toast points. Swanky I know.
I stood in my kitchen in my underwear…rather my boxers, a tank top and my slippers the bff gave me 2 years ago for Christmas(something I would have been unable to do if the friend had been over), my cheese and toast points on a plate, a glass of wine sitting on the counter and Elvis singing to me from my record player. I watched as the onions I was sautéing in melted butter started to turn translucent in the pan and added the garlic at just the right time. The spaghetti was boiling away on the back burner as I deftly crushed up some basil leaves with the back of a spoon and opened 2 cans of tomatos. I added pepperoni chopped up in bite size pieces and smiled as I watched the pieces sizzle in the butter…the aroma, oh god. How to describe it with mere words. The smell of butter, onion and garlic mingled with the pepperoni and I wafted the smell up to my nose. I shifted anxiously from foot to foot as I waited to add the basil and the tomatos. A sip of wine, a couple of cheese crackers and it was time. I added the tomatos, stirred in the basil and when it was warm all the way through I added the cream. My favorite part. I love watching the cream mix with the red of the tomato’s as I stir, making a creamy pink mix.
I stirred and stirred, anxious to taste and I shivered visibly with pleasure as I dipped my spoon into the delectable mixture. Into my mouth it went, and I relished the taste of the creamy mix, the subtle hint of the basil and garlic, the pepperoni heavy and rich and …I moaned. Audibly. Snapping myself out of ..whatever it was that I was in. I added the spaghetti, aldente, perfect to the pan and stirred letting it absorb the mix and again I shifted anxiously from foot to foot as I waited. I was excited. Ten minutes and fresh glass of wine later I plated my meal. The steaming pile of noodles, covered in the tomato mix, green specks of basil and a light dusting of grated parmigiano cheese looked incredible as I sat at my dining room table. With fork in hand, I took a deep breath, inhaling the aroma and inserted the fork smoothly into the middle of the plate. Swirl, swirl twist and lift. My mouth closed as I drew the fork out slowly, eyes closed savoring the first bite. Delicious. And again I made a slight moan in the back of my throat. And then…then I choked.
The deliciousness of my dish wasn’t the only thing that came over me. I choked as the sudden realization of what I was doing rolled over me causing a mighty laugh unfortunately at the same time I was swallowing. I was having sex. With my food. I sat there, coughing and laughing and for just one second my face turned red with embarrassment. But naturally, me being me, I got over it quickly and thought to myself why the hell not? It’s been a while, and..ahem I am a good cook. So I went back to my plate and can only say that 30 minutes later I left the dining table an incredible satisfied woman.
Tomorrow…tomorrow I’m making roasted chicken slathered in melted butter and rosemary, stuffed with lemons alongside crispy asparagus spears and steamed red potatoes covered in parsley and butter. Dessert will be chocolate mousse with homemade whipped cream and fresh strawberries. Mmmmm God, I can’t wait…who’s coming for dinner?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

A Dramatic Reading

She stands on a dimly lit stage; a single spot light shines down isolating her. Dramatic percussion thumps quietly in the background mimicking a beating heart. It builds in crescendo. She is nervous, so she fidgets as she steps up to the mike…thump……..Thump……..THUMP. And the drums stop,

Tap tap tap, on the mic

She clears her throat and speaks softly into the mic…A Melodramatic Emo poem about why I can’t sleep, by Shannon Nguyen.

With a deep breath she begins:

During the day,
When I force my smile to reach my eyes,
I laugh, I joke, I play,
I say a 1000 times I’m fine.

But in the dead of night,
When my empty bed has never sounded more alone,
I cry, I pray, I wish,
My mind is free to roam.

And in the waking hours,
When it’s darkest before the light,
I wait for the day to whisper,
Everything will be alright.

Thank you…she says to the thunderous applause. Thank you.

She exits stage left.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Random Txt of the week

To my friend Robin:
“I’m about 2 sec away from answering an ad on Craigs list for a man who’s headline reads I want to eat your asshole”
Followed immediately by
“ or I could go to Ihop. Either way somebody is eating something tonight.”

I need to stop drinking.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

One Glass Flute.

One Glass Flute.

New year’s eve, after getting off work I went to my local Wegmans to purchase some holiday party necessities. I had big plans for myself on new year’s. Anyone who knows me knows that New Years is my favorite holiday. I enjoy it more than Christmas. I also get really excited. It is the one time of year that literally in a minute hope becomes almost tangible. As the ball drops and a new year is ushered in, one knows anything can happen. The anticipation of future is so thick you are able to reach out and touch it. I firmly believe that what you are doing when the ball drop will set the tone for the upcoming year. I was thinking about that as I mulled over my evening plans while shopping. Last year I went downtown,by myself. It was very important for me to go and do New Year’s by myself. I had only been separated for a couple of months and I wanted to set the right tone for 2009. Strong, independent and self reliant; as luck would have it, I met someone that night and we watched the ball drop together. He was crazy, but I didn’t know that at the time. While in the produce department, looking for the perfect head of cabbage I had a realization if you will. I put 2 and 2 together. All last year I dated. Save for a couple of months that I took off from exhaustion, I dated. 15 men to be exact. And they were all crazy. Coincidence…I think not.
Without realizing it, this year was going to be different. I didn’t get my ticket to go downtown, and decided to stay at home. I purchased the supplies for the traditional new years day dinner, you know, pork chops, black eyed peas and cabbage. For health, wealth and good luck. I also bought some other small groceries, milk, bread, ext…a cheap bottle of champagne and strawberries. I don’t even like strawberries but I’ve ever since I saw Pretty Woman and Richard Gere is like have a strawberry I’ve always wanted to try it. Why not on New Years? As I was leaving, feeling quite happy with myself (everyone knows how much I LOVE grocery shopping, honestly my spirits really did lift when I was in the produce section, shocking revelation aside) when I realized I didn’t have a champagne flute. There was no way in hell I was going to drink champagne out of a wine glass or worse a coffee cup. So I bought one. Just one. I didn’t think anything about it until I got to the check out.
I put all my groceries on the thingy with the champagne flute last. There it sat. Upright, sparkling, well as much as unbreakable plastic can, amidst a bottle of cheap champagne, milk and strawberries. By all accounts I could have been going home to have a romantic evening with my significant partner, which is probably what the cashier though until she came to the flute. “Just the one huh?” she asked. “Yeah,” I replied, and I felt my face blush…”yeah. Just the one.” Until that moment it has never bothered me when I do things alone that are normally done in pairs. I go to movies, out to dinner ext…and I have never felt embarrassment. As I watched her scan that one champagne flute I almost wanted to cry. I didn’t. Not until later.
Later came at 11:59 pm… as I sat on my couch, watching Time Square on my computer, halfway into the bottle of champagne, all most all the strawberries gone and my little horn I took home from work. In the final minutes of 2009 I prayed. I thanked God for all his blessing on me in the past year, I prayed that he continue to bless me, my family and friends, and then I counted down. 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2, and its Happy New Year!! I polished off my glass of champagne, blew my little horn that had been squished previously from my purse, muted my computer and played Auld Lang Syne that I had on standby (thank you Iphone). I listened to the words as I watched couple after couple embrace, and kiss as confetti flittered down, and then…then I cried. I cried because I really do believe what you do at midnight sets the tone for the rest of the year, I cried because I thought of my realization about last year and what that meant for this one. I cried as I looked at the remnants of my party on my coffee table…strawberry tops, my horn, bits and pieces of cork because of course I broke it and my wine opener when I tried to open the bottle. I cried for all the frustration and hardships I had gone through the past year to sit where I sat then (and now as I write this). I cried for the two times my heart got broken last year from the one people knew about…and the one they didn’t. I cried because I was alone. And then I stopped. I could do alone.
I have been doing alone for a very long time. Since I was 10 and took care of my little brother so my mother could work. I did alone in my room every time my stepfather got drunk and went to beat my mother. I did alone when I was 16 and my father sat me down at our kitchen table and explained to me that I was an adult and he trusted me to take care of myself and the house, to go to school and to pay the bills while he worked. I didn’t see him again for almost a month. I did alone the night Justin died and I sat in my bathroom washing his blood off my body. I did alone in my first apartment when I worked 2 jobs just to pay the rent. I did alone the day my husband left.
I sat there, on my couch, toying with that one champagne flute and thought to myself, I can do this. I can be alone. Because I know how outstanding I am, how strong I am and how very very much I have overcome, and that matters. It matters very much. Even if the only person who knows it is me...and me alone.

Friday, December 25, 2009

She's Back.

Well it's been a long time. I know, it's ok I'm here now. Though I've prob lost most of my "fans" hopefully it will only take one or two well written and as always witty blogs to bring them back. Unfortunately for the past several months I have been unable to blog, primarily because every free moment was doing school work, and since the random and ridiculous things only happen in my free moments,I'm sure you know where I'm going with this. I'm going to be working on a new installment to my relationship urban legends series, that went over well on my myspace and its something I enjoy writing about. So look for it soon!!!