Laundry Mat Rules

I was at my local laundry mat about a week or so ago trying to catch up on the monumental pile of laundry that needed to be done when I realized that there should be a definite set of rules for people who are not so frequent users to a coin laundry. Those of us who patronize the establishment on a habitual base are quite familiar with the unwritten laws of the laundry world, but for those of you who go drudging into the world of the coin laundry I took the liberty of setting some guidelines:

RULE 1- If there are quarters in a machine that means the machine is taken, and the person is more than likely separating their whites from their collards or is out at her car getting her laundry detergent because she couldn't carry every thing in with one trip and didn't want to loose the good machines in the front of the building. This does not mean that someone left you a welcome to the laundry mat gift and you should pocket their quarters.

RULE 2- When drying clothes in the dryer keep your loads together. Don't space them out in every third dryer or some other clothes drying pattern that only you can understand. Be considerate to those who have an obscene amount of laundry to do and would prefer not to have a load drying at every corner of the laundry mat.

RULE 3- UNDER NO CICUMSTANCES ATTEMPT TO FOLD SOME ONE ELESE LAUNDRY…SPECFICALY A SET OF BLACK LACE TRIMMED PANITES

RULE 4- There is a limited amount of laundry carts per person and the person with the most clothes gets the cart. Share it, especially if that person has a shit load of her husbands uniforms that have to be put on hangers and hung up before they wrinkle so she is not up all night ironing only to have to make a 8 am run to the exchange because she was so tired she burnt a hole in her husbands dress uniform…..a person's choices have consequences.

And most importantly

RULE 5- Asking to borrow a cupful of fabric softener is not a subtle innuendo for lets have sex in the bathroom.