You are crap. And I would tell you why, I have a whole list of reason to declare, but I also have shit luck, and as such one of the 3 people who read this blog would probably recognize you, the facility, figure out who I am and I, subsequently, would loose my job. And then I'd be even more broke than I am now and would not be able to hire a lawyer to represent me in a wrongful termination suite. You are very very lucky.
But know this, as I mentioned above you are most definitely crap. The runny kind. And everybody feels the same way I do.
Your faithful employee