Friday, June 19, 2009

Relationship Urban Legend #28

Relationship Urban Legend # 28

Looks Don’t Matter: Because they all look the same in the dark

Idontcare69: hey baby, I’ve been waiting for you
Pillsburyprincess: really, for how long?
Idontcare69: my whole life
Pillsburyprincess: you always say such sweet things to me
Idontcare69: so will you tell me what you like look?
Pillsburyprincess: can I see a picture of you first?
Idontcare69: sure baby, anything for you.
Insert picture via chat box of the hottest guy ever.
Idontcare69:so, what do you think? Tell me what you look like.
Pillsburyprincess: omg your hot
Pillsburyprincess: and your also the most funny and amazing man I have ever met/chatted with. I don’t think I’m your type
Idontcare69: what do you think my type is
Pillsburyprincess: well I’m not blonde and I don’t have an eating disorder
Idontcare69: just tell me baby
Pillsburyprincess: well, I’m 4’8 about 350 lbs, I have long stringy brown hair, brown eyes and because of my hump I walk with a slight limp…
Idontcare69: god you sound so beautiful can I have your number.
Pillsburyprincess: well I don’t talk on the phone very much…I have a speech impediment.
Idontcare69: please, I’ve never met a women like you before. I can’t stop thinking about you
Pillsburyprincess: I also have genital warts , nicotine stained teeth and some unsightly facial hair.
Idontcare69: I don’t care, baby, looks don’t’ matter.

This is obviously a dramatization. Because in real life, this will never, ever happen. I am probably going to have my woman card pulled (again) and get kicked out of the big girls club, but I’m going to say it. Looks matter. And when a man tells you that they don’t he is lying. It’s a numbers game really. We all know it, we all know our number and unless your rating yourself above a 7 we don’t talk about it. You see a girl who is a 10 on the hotness scale with a guy who is like a 9 . Or vice versa. What you seldom see is a 9 with a 2, or an 8 with a 1. It’s because that deep down, no matter how much we want to deny it, we all have a type. We all have a preference for certain physical qualities that attract us to the opposite sex. Research shows that people are attracted to symmetrical qualities. That’s why most movie stars are so incredibly good looking. There facial features are symmetrical. There eyes are the perfect distance apart, there lips are the exact amount of fullness. So on and so forth. And as much as I hate to say it. That’s ok. It’s part of our nature. We want to look good, and most importantly we want our mate to look good too.
It boils down to attraction. Because regardless of how outstanding you are ( and yes, we are totally bad ass outstanding women) there is absolutely no way for a guy to deduce that just from looking at you. I know, that in real life, because I’m still chunky, don’t have large breast and an ass that you can crack walnuts off of, that unless I’m wearing a sign around my neck that says: This person is the funniest, smartest, and most incredible women you will ever met. She is the women of your dreams and if you go up to her right now and get her number you will be the luckest man alive, that I’m going to get over looked at what ever venue I’m at where there are a large number of super foxes. And that’s ok. Because I know that I’m hot, and sexy( in a awkward way that makes most people uncomfortable), but I’m also not delusional.
I understand that we are a visually driven society and that just because the Mr. Universe didn’t think I was hot does not mean that he was a douche bag, and honestly, not only am I ok with it, I kind of want to encourage it. Not blatant shallowness. That’s wrong. But ultimately I think that having a type, or at the very least knowing who or what your attracted to, means you have standards. Personally, I don’t want to date the guy who has no standards. Should looks be the deciding factor, the most important thing on the scale, when deciding whether or not to date someone. No, they shouldn’t be. And they probably wont ever be. Because whether your aware of it or not, if you gone up to the girl in the bar, or given the guy your number, you’ve already decided if he/she is hot or not. Otherwise you wouldn’t be talking to them.
It happens though, very rarely, but you will see a Brad Pitt look alike with a Roseanne Bar type. And that is what keeps the Relationship Urban Legend that looks don’t matter in circulation. Because even though the harsh truth is that looks mater, they are also subjective. You not witnessing a rare mathematical phenomenon, what your seeing it that the guy who is a 10 is thinking that the girl he is with is a 10 also. What your seeing is an awesome and beautiful women on the inside making her outsides match. It’s about confidence, working with what you have, and taking care of yourself. It’s her feeling good about herself, regardless of what everybody else think she looks like. Men notice things like that. And it’s those rare women who are able to exalt that sexiness and confidence no matter what size they are, or how big their hump is that give everyone else hope. That mislabeled perception, that hope is why in high school you’ll see the geeky boy tear himself away from the D and D table to talk to the head cheerleader. And it’s also why you had to awkwardly console your bff around her head gear when she got rejected by the captain of the football team. Because although looks matter, that they will ALWAYS matter, the truth is that when the right guy comes along, whatever his number is, he is always going to see a perfect 10, as long as you see it in yourself first…or if it’s just very very dark.

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