Friday, August 28, 2009

My bad my bad

Ok so's been FOREVER since i've blogged, and I'm not even really blogging right now, I dont have time...I'm on the ass end of my lunch break...but here's a little update:

AT&T sucks balls. Yeah I said it.

The Blue screen error on your computer is not a good thing.

My Psy teacher has a mullet and it's very distracting.

I refuse to do any of the following in said Psy class: color...or volunteer.

I am a total f'ing badass.

Second week of school and I'm still alive nor have I killed any one.

Still single.

....ok well that just about sums up the past week or so. Hopefully this weekend I'll have some more time and can go into greater detail.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

AT&T and the imiginary boyfriend....

So about 3 weeks ago now I bought a lap top for school. This was imperative, a necessity if you will. I'm taking 2 classes online and 2 classes at the campus. So suffice to say I'm going to be busy busy busy what with going to school full time, working 40+ hours a week and my bustling social life. Bustling...right. Any ways, I eagerly counted the days down until I could purchase this lap top along with the wireless card that was also essential to my needs. I was so excited. No. Excited doesn't cover it. For an adequate adgitive to describe the monumental occasion of me purchasing my lap top and wireless card for school please refer to the voice message I left on the BFF's phone while she was out camping. Ridiculously exuberant springs to mind as the proper verbiage of choice. However, due to some technical difficulties I have since become deflated with the experience.
The problems is not the computer. Oooohhhhh no. The lap top is outstanding, and I would have to say that my foray into the 21st century and technology has been exciting. My computer will talk to me..and I to it. Seriously. It's incredible. I actually composed my first dictated email earlier this morning to a for mentioned BFF...but I digress. The problem is that the wireless card and Windows vista arn't compatible. Something that apparently everybody knows but no one bothered to tell me when I was purchasing this perticuler air card through AT&T. So what happens is that I'll have a good strong connection to the Internet for 5 minutes to up to three hours, then suddenly it will drop to local only and I have to restart the entire program to reconnect again. Remove the air card, close down the AT&T communication box and reinsert the air card into another USB drive and start all over again. The 3 hours yesterday was a fluke, I normally only stay connected to the Internet for about 30 minutes or so and then have to do the above mentioned procedure. Oh, I forget to mention, sometimes it helps if I hold my mouth a certain way.
Needless to say I've been trouble shooting all week with AT&T and sony to try and resolve this issue. It's still not fixed. I've had to reconnect once already just while writing this blog. This is infuriating. But there's nothing I can do about it until we go through all the work arounds for the local only problem. There's a lot. Which means I'm spending an obscene about of time on the phone with the boys at AT&T. Drew, Adam, Chad, and my personal favorite so far, Ben.
This whole process has been incredibly infuriating, frustrating and aggravating, however, I am able to see the sliver lining so to speak. That would be the fact that the tech support people will set up appointments to call me back so I don't have to call in to the the call center and go through the whole rigmarole of being on hold and speaking to half dozen different people. So this past week I have had a string of random men (all with incredibly sexy voices) call my house asking for Shannon. As I mentioned before Ben so far has been my personal favorite. We've spoken several times, (all to no avail). He is personable and friendly, and in the down time we've had while waiting for my system to reboot, or some driver to install he has discovered that I like family guy, I am going to school for pyscology, I work at the Hospital and a plethora of other little trivial facts about me. In essence- the random tech support guy from AT&T is getting to know me. I hate to admit this but the encounters with Ben, frustrating local only failure aside, have actually been the most successful interaction I've had with a man in a very long time. Except for one other instance....and you know who you are.

Wow. I'm sorry. This blog just went somewhere totally different. I actually just erased a whole paragraph describing this imaginary boyfriend that I had created. In great detail. Great...detail. And the fact that i did that, kinda scares me. I think perhaps I should just enjoy the time Ben and I have together, and maybe if I think my life is just a little to ordinary, not quite ridiculous enough then I'll stage an elaborate break up scene between me and him. A tearful farewell over the phone, then I'll get drunk and dial into the call center a couple of times. Maybe try to google earth him so i can drive up and leave a dead bird in a shoebox by his car. Hmmmm...I know he lives somewhere in the central time zone. Kate I'm going to need you to teach me how to use google earth.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Mother's Lock up your Sons

"You know Shannon, you really are going to make someone a good wife someday. Your a good cook," said Shannon's evil stepfather.

" that the only reason?" our lovable protagonist asks.

" I said...your a good cook."

Insert awkward silence here.

Pepper Spray, Breast Cancer and a Pinky Promise.

So I'm leaving work last night really really late because I had to rewrite the c drive on my brand new computer. Ahh shout out to AT&T for that...thanks for everything. So anyways, I'm leaving work and I'm talking to my friend on the phone ( mistake number one, if I've been told once, I've been told a hundred times that when your on the phone your not as aware of your surrounding's) when this guy comes from out of no where and starts hollering at me.."hey..hey girl." So I stopped, and looked and when I do that he starts jogging towards me, maybe not jogging , more like a brisk walk....lumbering...I don't know. I just know he was moving faster than me. Here I go, at 1:30 in the morning on Princess Ann Street a couple of blocks away from the No-Tell Motel in a shady part of town riddled with crime, drugs and a very ghetto Captain D's, with a very large and unfriendly looking man yelling and moving towards me. Well yeah...hell yeah I panicked. Luckily I was at my car (which I'd like to add was at the very ass end of the parking lot because I was unable to park in the front, like how I'm supposed to.) and I was able to get in and shut and lock the doors very quickly and he disappeared, to where I don't know. But it scared the shit out of me. So much so in fact that unbeknowest to my friend who was very concerned about that status of my person at the time that I sat in the car for a good 10 minutes before I stopped shaking and could pull it together enough to drive. I did not cry..primarily because I was still on the phone and but secondly because I was a little mad. I'm not exactly sure why I got so angry, I'm going to have to ponder it for a little bit, but it certainly helped me keep it together.
Moving on, my friend on the phone made me promise that today before work I would go and get some mace. I had to pinkie swear...over the phone. Yes...I totally wiggled my pinkie just like I would do in person, yes it is as retarded as it sounds and yes you are still bound by the same laws of the pinkie promise as if you where doing it in person. Which on a side note prompted a brief discussion on exactly what those laws where. We discussed briefly the magnitude of what was being asked of me, to make sure I fully understood the ramifications of my actions if I did so in fact break the pinkie promise. I did. However I broached the fact the nobody really knows just what exactly those consequences where if one did break said pinkie promise. Though they are always spoken of in very ominous overtones and there's a lot of ..."you know...yeah you know. Just don't do it." (Side bar-my curiosity got the better of me while writing this and I googled it. According to wikipedia, the pinkie promise is as follows, which I have found very disturbing. If you know me you'll know why exactly and I can state for the record the I will never..ever break a pinkie promise:

To pinky swear (in some regions referred to as the pinky promise or pinky square) is when two people entwine their pinky fingers to signify that a promise has been made. It is often seen in anime, where it is called a yubikiri (指切り Japanese for "Finger Cut-off"?).[1] It is also possible for a pinky swear to exist between 3 parties, known as a 3-way pinky promise. A pinky swear between 4 or more people is relatively unknown.

Traditionally, the pinky swear is considered binding and tantamount to a handshake in terms of sealing a deal. The pinky swear originally indicated that the person who breaks the promise must cut off their pinky finger.[2] In modern times, pinky swearing is a more informal way of sealing a promise. It is most common among school-age children and close friends. The pinky swear signifies a promise that cannot be broken or counteracted by the crossing of fingers, the "I take it back" or any similar trickery.[3] The Pinky Swear can be broken if all parties agree.

My brother however, at the time of this writing, insists that breaking the pinkie promise means that you spend an endless winter on top of a mountain in an itchy sweater. Courtsey Angry Beavers.

So I pinkie promised. And subsequently found my self at Gander Mountain trying to make a decision on exactly what type of pepper spray to get. I was bewildered at the choices I had before me. Pepper spray it would seem comes in a variety of different types each with a different delivery option and convenient yet attractive carrying case. The one I found most tempting and slightly ironic was the Breast Cancer line. Each pink cartridge came with a very tasteful pink leather key chain case monogrammed with the breast cancer ribbon. I was tempted. It's not every day I can purchase a highly corrosive fluid that will both protect my person and allow me to contribute to a good cause. However I found it impractical to my needs and opted for the slimmer, smaller Key chain Pepper Spray version that had the extra safety measures included. I know I'm going to need those. My biggest concern is that I will inadvertently wind up macing myself while driving.

Don't ask me how, but that is a very realistic concern. Those type of things happen to me.

Friday, August 7, 2009

End of the week...thank god.

OK so this has been like the longest week ever.

I just got paid and i'm already broke.

My rat ate my favorite t-shirt.

My wireless card is crap.

I've worked 3 10 hour shifts.

I gained 4 lbs.

I gained 3 and half inches.

Men suck.

And...I'm missing half my eyebrow.

That pretty much covers it.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Tequilla, a loaf of bread and phone sex...'s been a while since I've blogged. Mostly I've been busy. And just haven't had time to sit down and blog about anything, nor did I really have anything to blog about. This past week has been relatively for yet another REALLY bad date. I've decided to stop. I can't go another horrible date. It's to the point their not even funny any more; rather it's getting hard for me to keep my chin up and at least enjoy the story telling opportunity it offers. I'm deflated. I'm also tired. My social life is exhausting me. So for the first time in over a month I didn't have a date to go on this weekend. Thoughts- first I wondered how I was going to eat. I've been supplementing some of my grocery expenditures with these dates. Second, what the crap was I going to do. Well...drink was the most rational conclusion. I wound up at my friend's house drinking tequila sunrises and having a great time. I woke up the next morning in a nightgown that was packed up in a box before I left the house, a loaf of bread (I finally remembered that I got the bread from Panera where I had dinner, though why it was mushed so badly or in the middle of my floor I couldn't tell you) and the worst hangover ever. Good times.
And yeah I dont really have anything to write about phone sex. But it was a catchy little title wasnt it? However...I do get free minutes after nine. Hm.