Boyfriend Application

Thank you for you interest for the position of Shannon's boyfriend. This is temp/seasonal weekend position requiring approximately 6-10 hours per week. Unfortunately I am unable to offer benefits of any kind at the present time. Please answer all questions honestly as you will be judged on your response. You can submit your application electronically at my email address along with any pictures. Pictures should be full frontal, clothed and could ultimately sway my decision. All applicants must consent to a full credit and criminal background check as well as a drug screening and STD check.

______________________________ ________________

Full Legal Name Date of Birth

____________________________ __________________

Please list any alias Social Security Nu mber

Section 1

Please circle your response:

1. Are you currently in any kind of committed relationship? (I.e. married, steady girlfriend, girlfriend, internet relationship ext…) YES NO

2. Do you live in your parents basement? YES NO

3.Do you have children by more than 2 women? YES NO

4.Have you ever been convicted of a crime? YES NO

If so please explain:

Please note that by indicating yes this does not immediately disqualify you from employment. The circumstances surrounding the incident, your age, other mitigating circumstances and the nature of the crime (unless it involved a computer, minors, and/or animals) will be considered.

5.Do you have any mental disorders or physiological conditions that require you to be medicated or "act out" in unusual ways? YES NO

6.Have you ever been sexually molested? YES NO

If yes have you or are you receiving treatment? YES NO

7. Are you unemployed? YES NO

If you have answered yes to any of the questions in section 1, thank you for your interest in the position. Unfortunately you do not meet any of the minimum requirements at this time. Your application will be kept on file for 6 months.

Section 2

Please circle all that apply:

Do you:

Watch wresting and then act it out it in your living room or on your partner?

Have a towel or any other security items that you sleep with?

Play video games more than 4 hours a week

Watch porn more than 2 hours a week

Play Rambo in the backyard with a bb gun?

Play dungeons and dragons or any other role playing games?

Play online computer games non stop?

Have good hygiene?

Do you enjoy reading?

Like movies?

Are you a picky eater?

Have a good sense of humor?

Have friends that would consider you a douche bag?

Drink

Smoke

Like sports?

Like your family?

Do they like you?

Like dogs?

Please list any hobbies and general interests:______________________________

Please list favorite movies:____________________________________________

Please list favorite books:_____________________________________________

Have you ever cheated?

If yes, how many times and did you get caught:_______________

Please describe your job:__________________________________

Please describe your living arrangements:___________________________

Please list your life goals;____________________________________

Did you attend college? YES NO

Section 3

Do you want children? YES NO

If yes would you willing to consent to a medical examination to confirm fertility status? YES NO

Have you ever been married? YES NO

If yes please provide contact information for your ex-wife:______________________________

How often do you see your ex?

1. Never-she disappeared under mysterious circumstances after the divorce

2.From a distance-the restraining order only allows 500 ft.

3. Occasionally

4. We still live together

5.Never

Are you a widower? YES NO

If yes for how long?

Please provide cemetery information so status can be verified_________________

Do you have a penis? Yes No

(Answering no will not necessarily disqualify you, provided that you can compensate for your inadequacy.)
How do you plan to compensate?____________________________
(Feel free to attach photographs and/or diagrams.)

Section 4

In the event that a full time position become available please answer the following:

Do you currently have any STD's? YES NO

If yes are the contagious?

Will they go away if treated with antibiotics?

Do you have any medical conditions that would prevent you from engaging in obscenely long sex sessions? YES NO

If yes please explain:_______________________________

Do you wear socks when you have sex? YES NO

If yes do you give permission for them to be used as a ball gag?

If yes please explain how you feel about erotic asphyxiation: ___________________________________________________________

Do you enjoy giving oral sex? YES NO

Please list top five favorite positions: _________________________________________

I hereby attest and do solemnly swear that all answers are true and correct to the best of my knowledge. I give my consent to have any preliminary background checks performed including a polygraph.

Name_____________________________ Date____________