So I had some time , along with a couple of beers, and I've realized what the problem is with my dating life. The problem apparently is that I have standards and I'm not supposed to based on the way I look. I've come to the conclusion that these men who are talking to must think that because I'm chunky that I am 1 desperate and 2 have no self esteem. Apparently big girls are not supposed to feel good about themselves or know how outfuckingstanding we are. We are supposed to take what ever we can get and be grateful.
So what the guy is a douche bag who has poor personal hygene, is self absorbed and only cares about getting his dick wet. Hey at least I'm getting some right? At least I have somebody to come home to. So I'm going to pass on that.
I'd rather be by myself and go through a string of horrible dates than settle for someone that I know will never appreciate everything that I am bringing to the table. I did that for 3 years. I will never ever settle for anything less than I deserve again.
However, things that I am learning:
1. Red flags. I never really understood the concept of red or warning flags before. And they have been surprisingly hard for me to identify. If you know me at all then you know I am unusual perceptive but not when it comes to things of this nature. However I am trying to be aware of any unusual behavior, poor character traits or obvious warning's.
2. I do not have to like every man I meet. This one has been tough too. I generaly like people and it's rare to find some one that I can't get along with. But every man that I come in contact with I do not have to date....well at least more than once.
3. I'm learning exactly how much I gave up when I was with Tim. I am learning how outstanding I am as a person, and as a woman. I am learning not everyone is like me. I am learning that I am special.
4. I am learning what matters to me in a partner and the things that do not.
5. I think the most important thing I am learning is that just because the man is not my husband does not mean he is not an asshole.
So I had all this in mind when I recently received an invitation to go to a movie with a man who will not call me and ask me out because he has a stutter and prefers to only communicate via email or txt. His stutter is so pronounced he says he generally doesn't talk around people, specifically woman. Ahh communitcation is a big deal to me so I'm going to decline.
Thank God I've come to the end of line. I have no more prospects in the foreseeable future. Under normal circumstance I would go out with him for the movie and just to see what would happen. I'm kind of scared to, and I really...really need a break.