Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Sarah Connors Machine

I've been lifting weights now at the gym for about 3 months and the results have been absolutely outstanding. Last month alone from lifting 3 times a week for an hour and half plus 2 hours of cardio I lost 3 inches. That doesn’t seem like a lot…but it is. Then add to that the 5 inches of muscle I gained over all…and well yeah I’m a sculpted super hottie. So like I said, for the past 3 months or so I’ve been lifting on a very specific circuit. Rather a set of machines designed to sculpt, build and tone your entire body. A set of 12 to be exact. It succeeded in giving me a very good foundation of muscle to build on. Some slight toning if you will, and you could definitely ask me which way to the beach (insert obvious flexing here).
That circuit was an 8 week program and after graduation it was time to move up stairs. Were the big boys play. And by big boys I mean all the free weights (ergo hot men), and all the rest of the weight machines. I was excited. With the help of my gym bitch, we constructed a finely tuned work out plan to utilize all the muscle I had started building down stairs. Utilize and make them bigger; well that was my goal. I think the gym bitch’s goal was just to make them hurt. So far we’ve each reached our target. Him more so than me. But I’m not complaining…well at least not very loud. It’s a good hurt. And if you’ve ever lifted before you’ll know what I mean. There’s a feeling, a slight burning, then a straining and it hurts but it feels so good. Your muscles ache and your tired but you feel like you’ve just taken on the world, and could do it again. All in that simple and controlled motion of lifting and lowering. There’s nothing like it, nothing that will make you feel as empowered or in control. However if you feel anything other than these things such as an acid like burn feeling or actual pain, well take my word on this you’ve hurt something.
So feeling this way about all the machines it is oddly the only machine out of the group that is not really a machine at all, that I love the most. It’s called the assisted chin dip, or pull up. It’s a system of weights and levers that acts as a counter balance so that you can do pull ups and triceps curls. That’s it. No bells and whistles. Just a little platform you kneel on while you use the bar to pull yourself up. It has been dubbed the Sarah Connors machine (please see Terminator) because while I’m doing those 2 sets of 10 I feel like the sexiest woman alive. A complete and total bad ass. And yeah, hell yeah I watch myself in the mirror while I do it.
With out shame I roll my sleeves up to my shoulders and watch my arms as I pull my self up. The muscle bulges and you can see in that one simple act all of the hard work, sweat, and tears (yes I cried once) of the past 4 months. In that bulging muscle you see dedication, and commitment personified. You see strength and power and the challenge of keeping it and building on it.
As I lower myself back down with a firm and controlled motion, I feel the muscles in my upper back and lats stretch and strain, building, expanding, making me stronger. And it hurts. But I enjoy it, it makes me go faster so I pull myself back up my eyes on my protruding biceps, feeling the muscle roll and come together under my skin. I feel more of a woman in that moment, in that intake of breath as I lift myself, sweat rolling down my face, straining to bring myself to the top, the muscles screaming…bulging, than any other moment in my life.
Then I resist the urge to kiss it.


  1. Wow, you're going to look like one of those chicks in weight lifting magazines.
    I want to join a gym someday, but I want to already be buffed before I start so I won't make an ass of myself.