Friday, August 14, 2009

Pepper Spray, Breast Cancer and a Pinky Promise.

So I'm leaving work last night really really late because I had to rewrite the c drive on my brand new computer. Ahh shout out to AT&T for that...thanks for everything. So anyways, I'm leaving work and I'm talking to my friend on the phone ( mistake number one, if I've been told once, I've been told a hundred times that when your on the phone your not as aware of your surrounding's) when this guy comes from out of no where and starts hollering at me.."hey..hey girl." So I stopped, and looked and when I do that he starts jogging towards me, maybe not jogging , more like a brisk walk....lumbering...I don't know. I just know he was moving faster than me. Here I go, at 1:30 in the morning on Princess Ann Street a couple of blocks away from the No-Tell Motel in a shady part of town riddled with crime, drugs and a very ghetto Captain D's, with a very large and unfriendly looking man yelling and moving towards me. Well yeah...hell yeah I panicked. Luckily I was at my car (which I'd like to add was at the very ass end of the parking lot because I was unable to park in the front, like how I'm supposed to.) and I was able to get in and shut and lock the doors very quickly and he disappeared, to where I don't know. But it scared the shit out of me. So much so in fact that unbeknowest to my friend who was very concerned about that status of my person at the time that I sat in the car for a good 10 minutes before I stopped shaking and could pull it together enough to drive. I did not cry..primarily because I was still on the phone and but secondly because I was a little mad. I'm not exactly sure why I got so angry, I'm going to have to ponder it for a little bit, but it certainly helped me keep it together.
Moving on, my friend on the phone made me promise that today before work I would go and get some mace. I had to pinkie swear...over the phone. Yes...I totally wiggled my pinkie just like I would do in person, yes it is as retarded as it sounds and yes you are still bound by the same laws of the pinkie promise as if you where doing it in person. Which on a side note prompted a brief discussion on exactly what those laws where. We discussed briefly the magnitude of what was being asked of me, to make sure I fully understood the ramifications of my actions if I did so in fact break the pinkie promise. I did. However I broached the fact the nobody really knows just what exactly those consequences where if one did break said pinkie promise. Though they are always spoken of in very ominous overtones and there's a lot of ..."you know...yeah you know. Just don't do it." (Side bar-my curiosity got the better of me while writing this and I googled it. According to wikipedia, the pinkie promise is as follows, which I have found very disturbing. If you know me you'll know why exactly and I can state for the record the I will never..ever break a pinkie promise:

To pinky swear (in some regions referred to as the pinky promise or pinky square) is when two people entwine their pinky fingers to signify that a promise has been made. It is often seen in anime, where it is called a yubikiri (指切り Japanese for "Finger Cut-off"?).[1] It is also possible for a pinky swear to exist between 3 parties, known as a 3-way pinky promise. A pinky swear between 4 or more people is relatively unknown.

Traditionally, the pinky swear is considered binding and tantamount to a handshake in terms of sealing a deal. The pinky swear originally indicated that the person who breaks the promise must cut off their pinky finger.[2] In modern times, pinky swearing is a more informal way of sealing a promise. It is most common among school-age children and close friends. The pinky swear signifies a promise that cannot be broken or counteracted by the crossing of fingers, the "I take it back" or any similar trickery.[3] The Pinky Swear can be broken if all parties agree.

My brother however, at the time of this writing, insists that breaking the pinkie promise means that you spend an endless winter on top of a mountain in an itchy sweater. Courtsey Angry Beavers.

So I pinkie promised. And subsequently found my self at Gander Mountain trying to make a decision on exactly what type of pepper spray to get. I was bewildered at the choices I had before me. Pepper spray it would seem comes in a variety of different types each with a different delivery option and convenient yet attractive carrying case. The one I found most tempting and slightly ironic was the Breast Cancer line. Each pink cartridge came with a very tasteful pink leather key chain case monogrammed with the breast cancer ribbon. I was tempted. It's not every day I can purchase a highly corrosive fluid that will both protect my person and allow me to contribute to a good cause. However I found it impractical to my needs and opted for the slimmer, smaller Key chain Pepper Spray version that had the extra safety measures included. I know I'm going to need those. My biggest concern is that I will inadvertently wind up macing myself while driving.

Don't ask me how, but that is a very realistic concern. Those type of things happen to me.


  1. Wow, so that's what a pinky swear is. I never knew there was so much meaning to it. I thought it was a kid thing to do. Thank you Encyclopedia Shannonica.
    Police taser themselves in training and soldiers in basic training get exposed to the gas, all so they can know what it feels like and have a better understanding of how to protect themselves. If I had pepper spray, I would be dumb enough to squirt a little on my face for the experience. And video it, post it on the net and become an Internet sensation.

  2. ahh trying to recreate the magic of 2 girls and a cup Jonnie? Hahahahahah nice.

  3. While on "vacation" in Tipton, IN, I obsessively watched an all day marathon of "The Academy." It was a show following the boot-camp style regimen that L.A. sheriff's deputies and police officers go through for a period of 18 weeks before being made official. So anyway, the D.I.s or whatever they are called there sprayed the students in the eyes with pepper spray all the while yelling "KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN" talk about sadism. Anyway, the kids were sputtering and mucous-ing everywhere. It was weird to watch. But they survived it. They washed there faces repeatedly with a hose and their eyes stayed swollen and leaky for a few hours. Anyway, not really any point to the story. Haha.

  4. Did you buy this pepper spray model? Pink Pepper Spray

  5. I saw it but did not actually, I bought the spitfire version, it was smaller.