Any ways, here ya go:
Stupidity Should be Painful
After working with the public for several years I have come to three conclusions: First stupidity should be painful, second there needs to be an amendment to the constitution stating this, and thirdly, if it did in fact cause physical pain to one’s person then eventually people would stop being stupid. Though I am loathe to ask for yet another committee to be spear headed by our federal government, I feel that in this particular instance (mostly for the funding) that a committee of intellectuals and the like should come together so that there is some type of supervision over the actual implication of the Stupidity Should be Painful Program. Each person would go to a local testing facility and submit to various tests to check their level of stupidity. If found that they are only moderately stupid, i.e. prone to ridiculous or asinine behavior in small isolated instances then they can be monitored by remote access through one of the many Remote Viewing Centers that will be put in place. Monitored and equipped with a small device that must be worn on their person at all times, they would receive an electric shock when they engage in any behavior that the committee has deemed stupid. These Remote Viewing Centers would serve a dual purpose, acting as both a monitor and call center, giving a civilian the constitutional right to call in if they in fact witness a person committing a potential stupidity violation. At which time, a formal investigation would commence and if the person was indeed found guilty of being stupid, the penalty would be delivered quickly and harshly, after first making the person watch a dramatization of their violation so that they understand exactly why they are being punished.
If, however, a person was found to test positive for chronic stupidity, steps would be taken to reduce the impact that they would have on society and other non-stupid people in general. At this level of stupidity it would be fairly safe to assume that they would need almost constant supervision such as, a personal Stupidity Monitor. Someone who would follow them around so that when an act of stupidity is occurring the Monitor would simply hit them with the approved punishment device (possibly a cane or a 2x4) thusly creating the desired Pavlovian response. Furthermore, their driving licenses would be revoked (as this seems to be the time when most people become stupid), their license to breed would be suspended, they would be required/forced to attend weekly re-education camps and counseling, and their family and loved ones would be given access to pamphlets on coping with a chronically stupid person as well as the choice to meet with a weekly support group. It is my belief that if these steps were to be taken, we might one day live in a world where bad driving, reality TV. , and Scientology were things of the past, and stupidity, which is already painful for everyone else, will finally start affecting the people that it should.